I am No one

I have lost all my support.. I am alone and no one to support. Am in a bad situation and I dont know what to do. Trying to crowd fund to get out of this bad situation but no one looks at my page.. I am a no one asking for help to be ok… But no one cares because im no one.. the picture is the face of no one

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The darkness is closing in

I am struggling. With all the crap going on with my family its getting harder to smile. I am trying to keep my smile but at the same time it is very hard… I am trying to keep it together knowing that my family wont change and unless some people take pity on me and donate money so that I can get out of hell but praying is not helping. I am getting tired. Even had to start taking my sleeping pills again so I can get some sleep… the darkness is closing in

Abuse

Living with family should be a nice thing. But when the relationships are toxic there will always be one person who gets the worst of it. For me that is me.

I live with a narcasist who starts fights for no reason and causes problems beyond belief. This person is the reason that I do not ever ask her what she has said to others because I will never get the truth, I will get their truth but not the real truth. This person says they understand and support you and then goes behind your back and bitches about you. Even using phrases such as “what are you, your only a _____ you dont know anything”.

I also live with a family member who calls me really nasty names and treats me like I dont even exsist. When I have tried to bridge the gapall I get is anger, frustration and rudeness.

I am honestly worried about my own wellbeing there. I am stressed all the time and when I have to be at home now I close myself off from everyone to make sure that no one can hurt me. I am worried that if I dont get money to move soon I will start falling into a depressive episode like I have not seen for a long while. If you can help me even get 1/2 the money I can get a place to live without them and support myself.

If you can help me please, I am at my wits end.

https://www.gofundme.com/n54nq3-urgently-need-money-to-move

How does it feel to be a mother without a child?

Well ladies and gents it SUCKS. No matter where I go people say they cant believe that I have no kids because im so good with them. The kids in my estate know me and know if they need help when parents are not around that I would be there for them. I have baby sat and honestly never had a bad review.

I used to think that my calling was to work with kids. I realised it is to be a mother to those in need. So right now im a mother without a child but i need help to reach my dream I dont know how to say its like there is a hole in my soul.

Let me tell you a story….

This is the story of a young girl, who didnt have the best start in life.

This girl was the middle child in a family and when her younger sibling was born her mother, who she later found out had post natal depression, would take her anger out on her. She would get into angry situations where she would take the frustration out on her and would get angry if she ducked out of the way.

This mother then met someone who had 3 daughters of their own and things went from bad to worst. The mothers friends children used to sexually assault the girl who was not even 10 years old. The girl learnt at a very early age things like what a 69ner was. When the girl said no her abusers would make up horrible lies about her to her mother to destroy her credability. The girl had no choice but to continue until some point when the families stopped talking to each other. The girl never knew why.

There was another family who was in the same school as the girl and the badness did not stop. The girl was petrified to stay with the family as the mother was cruel and the girls completely false reputation had followed her…

The school she was in she also had no friends. She would get beaten up many times because she just did not understand what was going on. In secondary school things went from bad to worse when she was attacked in her own home over things that never happened. Girls from the school kicked in her front door and she had to leave that school as she feared for her safety.

It wasnt until someone took an interest in her where she found out that she was dyslexic and finally started to get some good grades in school.

Later in life this girl, now an adult, started drinking loads. She ended up in very aweful situations with men and she just did not understand how to socialise with other people… This lead to an attempted rape.

This girl was completely alone in everything she has had to go through but she is a strong girl.

She is me…. I stand up now for those who are in pain. If there is someone I can help I will do so. I am no one special. I am just someone that n one helped when she was in complete agony.. No one would listen to me or hear what I ws saying. My own family used words like “slut” when talkking about me instead of unsderstanding what I was going through. Ultimately I was then diagnosed with depression after I took a pen knife to my hand…

Still today people dont help when I ask. I tried to raise some money on Go Fund Me so that I could get a place away from the home I am living in and all I was met with was family members telling me I was being greedy and other people stopped talking to me. This lead me to have to shut the go fund me page down. I have to survive in a house with people who abused me and ignored me most of my life and dont really care what I do but I am still standing… Even after 3 cancer scare,….Many operations and health issues… I am still standing…

This is my story.