Tired

I am so tired today.

I think the reason I am tired is because I am a good person who does what she can to make the world a nicer place and yet no one is willing to help me in my time of need! I know I am a good person. I write to prisoners on death row, I volunteer to cheer up Service Men and Women as well as the people who care for wounded warriers, I advocate for training for working class, I sit and talk to homeless people and hand out food, I feed stray animals, I help people in dia need and I do this with a smile on my face and when people no longer need me for what ever reason I move on to the next one and ask for nothing in return.

I was once someone who had dreams and hopes. I wanted to be in the military, asthma ruined that. I wanted to be a dancer, an accident which injured my knees stopped that. I wanted to act, my dyslexia stopped that. I wanted to teach, Dyslexia stopped that too. I wanted to be a tennis player, my co-ordination stopped that. I wanted to sing, but lack of exposure stopped that. I wanted to see amazing wonders, my finances stopped that. I wanted a family, my health will probably preclude me from this as well.

No matter what my dreams have been something got in the way and stopped me being able to achieve them. Now my health is in a state that I will probably never be able to live abroad for a period of time due to medication needs and other countries charging. I will never get to become an actress, or spend Christmas on the beach in Australia. I am left with only one dream left. To make the world a nicer place even for one person so that when I die I can die knowing the world is a nicer place then when I found it.

I just wish someone would see the kind things that I am doing to make the world a nicer place and say to themselves, Let us give this girl one thing that she needs and that is her own sanctuary so she can finally live in the peace of knowing that she has more control over her life and a safe place for when she feels down. But no one has come to that realisation. No one wants to help me. The gofundme page had over 2000 views and not one person donated. Not one person said, I will give her even a small donation to her needs. So I closed it down.

I am tired because I have finally realised. No matter what I do in the world. No matter how fluffy I make the world, I am on my own. There is no one that will hear me. There is no one that will help me. I am on my own.

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